The Courtyard  outtakes
by latessitrice
Summary: Deleted scenes and other outtakes from my story The Courtyard.  If you aren't reading that, these won't make much sense.
1. The Meadow

**Here's the first in a series of outtakes from my story 'The Courtyard'. This probably won't make sense if you aren't reading that :).**

**The outtakes are going to be moments taken from during the story (or after it) that slow down the pace or were unnecessary. This first scene was from the chapter 'Shadows', right at the beginning of it, but my beta told me to cut it. She was right; it didn't add anything. However, I kept what I cut and now I'm posting it.**

**Most of the other outtakes will follow after I've finished the main story. However, I wanted to post this because I have no idea when I'll have chance to work on the next chapter and I wanted to give you all something to tide you over to say thanks for reading.**

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**The Meadow**

It was the middle of May, and while it was hard to tell the difference between the seasons sometimes in Forks, the threat of snow had permanently passed until autumn and the air was warmer. On the days when the sun came out in full force, you only needed to wear one or two layers instead of three or four.

Of course, sunlight forced Edward and Alice out of school, which was why I'd spent the last two days alone at school. The evenings hasn't been so bad, with Edward sneaking in through my window, and I stuck to Angela like a limpet during the day, staying away from whatever gossip Jessica and Lauren were cooking up to account for the Cullens' absence.

Now it was a bright, sunshine-y Saturday morning and I was spending the entire day with Edward. All was right with the world. The only small glitch was I that was looking for my favorite shirt – the one I'd worn when I'd reunited with Edward in Volterra – and I had no idea where it was. I'd presumed it was still in the laundry somewhere but I'd checked the washing machine, dryer, both hampers, my wardrobe, all my drawers, and finally dragged the suitcase out from under my bed to check I hadn't missed it when I was unpacking. Alice swore it wasn't at the Cullens' house – I hadn't worn it since Volterra anyway – and I thought it would turn up, but it just didn't seem to be anywhere.

It was a shame, because I wanted to see Edward's reaction to a reminder of _that _day. I grabbed another t-shirt instead, but the wheels kept turning in my head as I waited for him to arrive, wondering where it could be.

It was also the first weekend in months where I wouldn't be working at least one day at Newton's. I'd given the job up because I didn't really need the college money anymore, and it allowed me to spend more time with Edward. I'd handed over what I'd already saved to Alice to contribute towards the wedding. Edward had rankled at that but I explained that it was my money and I could do what I wanted with it. Then I appeased him with more 'practice', which I think was his favorite thing in the world.

I was expecting him to materialize in my room as he was so fond of doing, but instead the doorbell rang. I didn't run down the stairs to get the door as that was inviting calamity, but he waited patiently for me to unlock and open it.

He stood on the porch with all but his face and hands covered – his hair under the hood of his jacket – just in case the neighbors caught a glimpse of him in the sunlight. I knew he liked me in blue, but the rich indigo of his jacket did wonderful things for his skin tone and made his eyes that little bit more jewel-brilliant in contrast. For a moment, I was just as stunned by his beauty as I had been the first time I met him, my heartbeat stuttering then galloping.

"Good morning, love," he said and raised his arm to show the wicker basket dangling from his wrist. "Care to join me for a picnic in the meadow today?" He reached for me with his free arm and I snuggled into his side, burying my nose into this throat and inhaling his delicious scent.

"I thought we were going to the cottage."

"We can later, if you like. I think we should take advantage of the sun while we have it though. Plus, this basket is full of food from the best Italian delicatessen in Washington."

"Ooh, you've convinced me. You know Alice is going to have a screaming fit if I can't fit into the dress when it arrives though."

"Some parts of you have been filling out a little more, but I can't say I'm disappointed."

I tried to lift the lid to peek inside the basket but Edward jerked the basket away. I stuck my tongue out at him and then returned to that nook between his shoulder and neck, sucking at the skin there. He pulled me closer still and I could feel the reverberations of his almost imperceptible purring rumbling through me.

"How are we travelling?" I asked.

"I was thinking by hovercraft," he answered in complete seriousness.

I pulled back to stare at him and almost missed the glint of humor in his eyes. "Has anyone ever told you that you suck at being funny?"

"Actually, they have. Many times, in fact. I think my talents definitely lie elsewhere." His thumb grazed over the outside of my breast.

"They may have been right," I conceded. "Seriously, how are we getting there?"

"You get to ride me." His grin was nothing short of salacious, and I gave my best scoff-and-eye-roll combination as I climbed onto his back.

I still hated travelling this way. Even the fact that my body was pressed deliciously up against Edward's couldn't distract me from my stomach's protests, although I found that keeping my eyes closed and taking deep lungfuls of Edward's scent helped.

He laid out a blanket on the grass before I climbed down, letting my knees fold underneath me like the Jell-o they were apparently made of. I didn't want the food just then, until my stomach settled, and it was enough just to lie side by side with him and stare at the blue expanse above us. The wild flowers seemed to be enjoying the sun as well, and they bloomed in vivid patches of violet and ruby around us.

It was the first time we'd been to the meadow since before Edward had left and I'd been anxious that maybe my encounter with Laurent would have tainted it. I needn't have worried though – with Edward here, and the meadow in full bloom again, it felt like it always had.

I could only eat a tenth of what Esme had crammed into the basket, but it was delicious. There were mini pizzas, wonderful even when cold, cold meats and cheeses to be piled on crusty bread, individual pots of ravioli and Bolognese and carbonara, olives and salads and other nibbles. I didn't have room to get started on the sweet stuff.

"I think," I said, interrupting the silence after we'd settled back to gaze at the sky again, "that this meadow is my favorite place in the whole world."

He rolled onto his side to look down at me, the sun refracting from his skin in dozens of dancing pinpints of light. "Is that so?"

"Mmm-hmm." I curled our fingers together and he took the opportunity, as ever, to kiss my ring finger and the inside of my wrist.

"Better than the cottage?"

"Yes."

"Better than Florence?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"This is us. We're always completely alone here, and you can show yourself in the sun without worrying. It's where you first showed me what you really are and what you're capable of. It's where you told me what I meant to you. It's our place."

"True. He brushed a stray lock of hair away from my face and rested his hand against my throat. "I think that was the happiest day of my life. At the time, of course."

"At the time?"

"Now the happiest day of my life was the one where I found out you were alive when I thought you were dead, you still loved me after what I'd put you through and you were willing to take me back. It was the day we made love for the first time – and the second and third times – and you agreed to become my wife."

"Technically, I didn't agree to anything. You and Alice made assumptions."

He smiled lazily. "It was easier than waiting for you to make up your mind."

"You're lucky I'm too full to get angry right now."

"Besides, it's too late for you to back out now." He kissed just above the ring again.

"Psssh, have you never seen 'The Runaway Bride'?"

"You know the second you contemplated it, Alice would be planning countermeasures."

"Probably," I agreed. "Good job I'm not contemplating it, then."

We spent a long time making out after that. This had always passed us by before: Edward had either been overly-cautious and broken off our kisses before they could get too heated, or after Italy we'd been anxious to move on to other things. Today, we both seemed content to relax into it, reveling in the sunlight on our faces and the taste of each other.

"You know, I remember something very interesting from our favorite day," I said when we'd relaxed back onto the blanket. I was curled up on his chest, my pulse just slowing down from frantic.

"What would that be?" He was very interested in watching my diamonds sparkle in the sun. I didn't want to tell him that it was prettier when he did it; I didn't think he'd take it well.

"You sparkled. _Everywhere_."

An instant later, he was unclothed, kneeling on the edge of the blanket.

"Do I?"

I nodded mutely, wanting to reach out and wrap my hand around him. For some reason I was locked in place, leaning back on my elbows and awestruck by the sight before me. He'd never looked more otherworldly or untouchable than he did right now.

"One day," he continued, "you're going to sparkle everywhere too. I'll take great delight in discovering every inch of you when you do."

Then I was reaching for him, and he fell on top of me, resting between my hips to grind into me.

"I think I'm wearing too many clothes," I whimpered, and he helped me out of them, covering me again when it was done.

His hands were all over me even as our mouths stayed latched to each other, and mine stayed fisted in his hair. One second they were cupping my breasts, thumbs stroking, then they were down my ribs and ghosting over my thighs, delicious gooseflesh trailing in their wake. While the sun was decidedly less warm than in Italy, with my eyes closed I could imagine we were back in that courtyard – the contrast of warmth and cold on my skin delighting my nerves. I whimpered when he pulled back and crouched between my legs, lifting one and bending it at the knee so he could place a tender kiss on the arch of my foot. The fingers of his other hand trailed up the inside of my other thigh, making me squirm at the ticklish sensation.

"Bella, I want to try something."

"Anything," I gasped, trying to twist my body so his fingers would be where I wanted them to be.

"You have to promise to be very still," he murmured, trailing kisses from my ankle, up my calf, his tongue flicking out to lick at the back of my knee. I squealed and writhed. "Can you do that?"

"Um…probably?" We'd found I wasn't very good at keeping still whenever Edward was touching me.

"Just try for me. No sudden movements – for your safety. Please." He leaned over me for a moment, gaining eye contact, and the seriousness in his gaze made me give him a solemn nod. He bent to kiss at my stomach, just below my navel and then spread my thighs further apart. Only when he lay down and rested his head on my thigh, his cool breath flowing across the apex of my legs, did I realize what he about to do. Suddenly every nerve in my body was screaming.

"I thought you couldn't…?" I gasped.

"Apparently, if your skin isn't broken, and it doesn't come in contact with my teeth, you'll be fine."

"Oh _God_!" He hadn't waited for me to process that, and his cold tongue had just firmly lapped at _that_ spot. My hips bucked, my back arching off the blanket, before I could stop myself.

"Bella!" He pulled back to admonish me.

I could only whimper in response, gathering fistfuls of the blanket. He nuzzled against me and blew another cold stream of air, making goose bumps break out all over my body, and his tongue nudged me again.

Very, very tentatively, it slid over me, circling and then just the tip traced down softly – as soft as Edward could be – teasing at my entrance, then grazing back up to lap at my spot. He made more slow circles increasing the pressure fraction by fraction – only Edward would have this much control over his tongue – and then drawing me between his lips in one swift movement to suck, lips covering his teeth. I shrieked and gripped the blanket hard enough to tear the fabric, forcing my hips to stay still. My whole world had narrowed down to the tiny bundle of nerves between my legs.

He released me and continued that teasing path with his tongue, flicking just inside me and then back up, countless times while I begged between gasping breaths for more. Finally he took me back into his mouth, his tongue flicking over and over until I shattered into a thousand facets of light.

When I'd been reassembled, he was lying over me again, his weight on his elbows, and he wore the proudest smile I'd ever seen on anybody.

"Was the experiment a success?" I asked weakly, still trying to gather my senses from where they'd been flung out into the azure sky.

"Hmm." He nuzzled below my ear. "I think we may have to run more trials, just to be absolutely sure."

"I think that would be a good idea," I agreed drily, and then we were laughing, rolling together on the blanket and off, giddy with joy.

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**Ah, pure fluff.**


	2. The Car

**Happy belated birthday to Vegetarian Vamp! She was one of the first people to leave very enthusiastic reviews and PM me when I first started writing The Courtyard, and has always been an excellent source of support. She requested an outtake involving the Volvo, so I wrote it as a present to her :). It hasn't been beta'd so any mistakes are mine (and if you spot anything big, let me know and I'll edit).**

**This doesn't necessarily fit anywhere in the timeline of The Courtyard, just somewhere between Edward starting back at school and the drama kicking off. It's a short, fun piece. Hope this tides you over until the next chapter.**

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"I'm just saying that it's not true."

Edward cast me a sidelong look. "I disagree." He accelerated the Volvo to pass Rose's M3 and sped away from the school.

"Well, you've made that very clear. It doesn't change the fact that you're wrong."

"Bella, I have ninety years more life experience than you. Clearly I'm right."

I scoffed and leaned in to change the radio station. I could see Edward's fingers twitching on the gear shift and rolled my eyes. Our taste in music was, for the most part, the same. He should trust in my choices.

"That doesn't make you right. It just makes you _old_."

"Oh, you think so? Well, I – what is this?"

I grinned. "I'm in the mood for the classics." I'd tuned to the local classic rock station, Charlie's favorite. Its entire playlist came from the sixties and seventies – Edward's least favorite era.

He gave me that sideways look again, knowing that I was trying to annoy him.

"Look, nobody saw anything and people are just making assumptions. It's a total cliché."

The rumor going around school this morning was that Lauren had left the diner on Friday night with Tyler and his car had been seen parked up a notorious make-out spot later on. Everyone had jumped to conclusions and were now declaring that they'd had sex. Edward had only heard about the rumor when I told him as we left, so he hadn't had chance to rummage through either of their thoughts to figure out the truth.

"It's a cliché because it's usually true," he said.

"Not every teenage couple that gets into a car together does it. They were probably just making out. Lauren told Jessica that she's a virgin."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Sure she is."

"It's a cliché," I insisted. "Hey, we're a couple and we've never had sex in a car."

"True." He jerked the steering wheel hard and pulled the Volvo off the road, onto a greenery covered lane, stopping once we were out of sight of the main road. "I think we need to correct that."

"Here? _Now_?"

He unclipped both of our seatbelts and leaned in to nuzzle at my neck. "Mmm-hmm."

"In the Volvo?"

He kissed up my neck, along my cheekbone to just above my upper lip. "What's wrong with the Volvo?"

"I thought you'd want to use the Vanquish instead."

He leaned over me, pressing his forehead to mine and smirking. "Believe me, the Vanquish is going to get its share of the fun." My chair flipped back so I was nearly horizontal and I squealed, while Edward straddled me, claiming my mouth.

It was easy to lose myself in the kiss as his fingers skimmed along my side, moving to unbutton my shirt so he could kiss down my chest and over the swell of my breasts. I squirmed, giggling as he sucked at the skin, then yelped as my knee hit the gearshift.

"Bella?" He pulled away, concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine. I think I'm just going to have to be careful. Confined space and all."

"Hmm." He slid to his knees in the footwell and deftly unbuttoned my jeans. "Do you want me to kiss it better?"

He lifted me quickly, and what should have been an awkward struggle to get free of my jeans was over in seconds. He tossed them into the backseat, along with his shirt, then his lips found my knee.

"Well, the coolness does help – oh - "

His mouth moved upwards, then skipped to my belly just before he reached the really sensitive areas. I wriggled and in the process knocked my foot against the door, biting my lip to stifle the whimper.

"I don't think this is going to work," he muttered.

"I told you the Vanquish was a better idea."

In one quick movement he spun us so he was on the seat and I was straddling him. "I meant that it wasn't going to work like that. This is much better." He pulled the cups of my bra down so his fingers were free to explore. "And please don't insult the Volvo."

He pulled me down for another kiss and only let me go when I was panting. "Shouldn't we be steaming the windows up?" I whispered against his lips.

"It's not cold enough outside. Beside, I don't breathe so you'd have to do all the work to produce condensation. Although…like this," he gripped my hips and moved me against him, "you will be anyway."

"Mmm." I shifted against him again, his jeans causing the perfect amount of friction as I moved. "Like this?" I leaned in to suck at his neck, teeth scraping a little, hips moving all the time. He held me tighter, guiding my movements.

"Yes," he hissed, "although I think the general idea is that we have less clothing between us."

"Really? I'm liking it like this." Already the ache between my legs was building, and I moved faster against him. He buried his face in my neck and began shifting his hips against mine, our movements growing wilder as we sought release, lips occasionally finding each other, mumbled words and my ragged breathing the only sounds in the car.

"Bella…are…" He bucked up against me and it sent my body into freefall, his hands keeping me in place as I writhed, pleasure rushing through me as I cried out for him.

"I like watching you do that," he murmured as he hooked his thumbs into my panties.

"Did you..?" I mumbled, reaching down to touch him where he was still hard as ever.

"Did I finish? No, but I have a better idea." I lifted myself so he could slide them down. Then his fingers found me, stroking gently before pushing inside me.

"Oh?"

With his free hand he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled himself free, before he grasped my hips again and lowered me over him. "This."

I balanced myself against his shoulders and began to move. "It's a very good idea."

I shut up again for a while, concentrating on the feel of being joined with him, and the look in his eyes – the one he always wore when we came together like this: adoration and desire and an intensity that took my breath away.

Truth be told, even with Edward's assistance it was awkward to move like this, so I kept my movements small, rocking my hips and leaning forwards to increase the friction. He took advantage of the closeness to kiss and suck at the skin of shoulders and collar, finding a sensitive spot that was apparently connected to every other nerve in my body. He began thrusting up into me, hands moving me over him at a rougher pace. Everything tightened in my belly, pleasure pulsing outward with every movement, until it all came together in one moment: my body unraveling, Edward calling my name beneath me, pleasure spilling outward. I arched my back, throwing my head back…

And hit it against the roof.

"OW!"

Edward's fingers were gently examining the sore spot immediately, searching for damage. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, burying my face in his shoulder. "The endorphins help."

"That's good." He carried on stroking my scalp and I relaxed into him, although the seat itself would have been much comfier.

"I guess we won't be trying this again then," I said, figuring Edward's overprotective instincts would kick in.

"Why would you say that?" I could hear the smirk in his voice and looked up to find an amused glint in his eyes. "The Vanquish has far more space, and I've been told the backseat is easier to maneuver in."

And then he was kissing me again, lifting me into the backseat.

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**Thanks for reading :).**


	3. Il Cortile chapter 1 EPOV

**Today (the 28th of November) is the one year anniversary of me posting chapter one of The Courtyard - at the time, a one shot inspired by a viewing of New Moon the week before. I'd hoped to have the last chapter up in celebration, but it is at this point in time with my betas and will require further editing when they return it to me. Instead, I'm offering you this, the first chapter from Edward's point of view, something that has been requested many times. I originally offered it for auction in the Fandom Gives Back auctions in July and the winners have had several months to enjoy it by themselves. It's time it got a public airing.**

**The response to the story has been beyond my expectations (especially considering chapter two - or beyond - was never supposed to exist), so thank you to everyone who reviewed or PM'd me asking for more in the first place, and has stuck with me over the past year, or picked up the story in the interim.**

**Thanks to Octoberland and evieeden for betaing and finding me when I was pretty much a lurker in the fandom. Love you girls!**

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**Il Cortile**

The last few moments of my life stretched away, taut and pulsing, taunting me with an endless replay of every precious second I'd spent with Bella. I didn't need to count the seconds as they passed - I could feel them in my bones, the slow pendulum beat of eternity coming to a close.

My shirt was already discarded on the paving stones and I stood in the penumbra of the bell tower, waiting for midday to come. I kept my eyes closed. The sounds of the people in the Piazza interrupted the memories, their simple enjoyment of the festival intruding on my grief. I willed the moments to pass, with only the knowledge that I had to get this right, that I to attract as much attention as possible, keeping me in place until the stroke of the hour. I had no idea if I would be reunited with her on the other side – would I enter Heaven, Hell, or just turn to dust? - but anything, whatever was waiting for me, was better than another minute of knowing that she was gone and I was the cause.

I heard the gears in the tower grinding together before the first toll, the first stroke of noon, and then I felt it echoing through my body.

_One_.

I waited longer still, for that last toll, the space between each low chime time enough to dwell on a different memory of Bella.

_Two_.

The meadow, our first kiss, surrounded by the blooms of spring. The way she'd felt, so fragile against me, so trusting even after I'd shown her everything I was.

_Three_.

The way her blood sang to me, the persistent burn an irritant even when I reveled in her scent. My memory excelled itself, calling it up perfectly. It was almost like she was near me right now,

_Four. _

the fire bursting to life in my throat as it always did. It didn't matter – I would take it. I would have always withstood that discomfort if it meant she was alive and happy. Now memories were all I had.

_Five._

It was worse than living with those memories knowing she was only a continent away, everyday fighting the urge to return to her.

_Six. _

I couldn't even conjure up a fragment of the intoxication that was the frantic thud of her heartbeat whenever I kissed her, and yes, now I could hear her heartbeat too, the distinctive hummingbird beat, the most precious sound in the universe. I thought I even heard her voice, calling my name.

_Seven. _

It was too much; I couldn't wait for the last knell. I thanked whatever higher power had blessed me with this last delirium and took a step towards fate.

_Eight. _

She was there around me instantly. Against every expectation, against every sliver of hope I'd tried quell, I had made it to Heaven. The warmth of her body next to mine, the soft texture of her hair under my fingertips and the rich, heady beat of her pulse told me as much. The brief thought occurred that we could both have ended up in Hell,

_Nine. _

but there was nothing my sweet Bella could have done to have led her to damnation - and if she was here with me now, I couldn't possibly be in Hell. I'd already spent too many months separated from her - that had been its own kind of living Hell. If I was to be punished, an eternity without her was the only way to achieve it. I chanced to open my eyes, taking in the wonder before me - flushed skin, warm eyes, my Bella as I'd never thought to see her again.

_Ten. _

"Amazing. Carlisle was right." I couldn't keep the wonder from my voice. The words weren't enough; I should be pledging my devotion, thanking the stars that we'd made it here together.

"Edward," she whispered urgently. "You've got to get back into the shadows. You have to move!"

_Eleven._

Her words made no sense, but it didn't matter. My fingers traced the flush she wore on her cheeks, desperate to feel the heat of her blood against my skin.

_Twelve._

"I can't believe how quick it was," I told her. "I didn't feel a thing – they're very good." Her body was hot against mine, her heartbeat still frantic, the blessed burning in my throat igniting with vigor.

The sensory input was too much – sight, scent, hearing, feeling – and I shut my eyes before I kissed her temple, the texture of her hair under my lips devastatingly soft. I wanted to kiss every inch of her to find out if it was all this soft. The heat of the sun on my skin was nothing to the unbridled warmth spreading through me, joy at the chance to hold her in my arms again. Bella was _here._

"You smell like Heaven," I murmured. There it was again – that concept of Heaven. We were together again. For whatever reason we were still in our corporeal states, as different to each other as we'd been in life, but now the possibilities opened up before me. We'd already died. No matter how luscious she smelled to me, how delicate she felt in my arms, I couldn't hurt her anymore.

I pulled her along the alleyway, held tightly to me, and used all my speed to rush through the empty streets until I found exactly what I needed – a secluded courtyard, our own tiny corner of paradise, the gate a barrier between us and the rest of time. The journey took only seconds. The world was silent, no whispering minds close enough to interrupt my peace. "I must be in Heaven, if you're here with me," I mused aloud.

I couldn't keep my body from moving, my hands instinctively tracing their way over her skin, mapping the planes I knew so well, bones and flesh and veins. She'd changed since I left – her hair was longer, her hips a fraction wider, she had new freckles. She'd grown in ways I was unhappy to have missed. And that maddening scent hadn't diluted. I didn't care if I had to suffer the burn forever; if that was to be my only penance, then I would gladly bear it.

"Edward, I'm not - " she began, but my body acted of its own accord again, my lips moving to cover hers.

_This._ If I was to suffer at all in the afterlife, _this_ would make it worthwhile - the soft capitulation of her lips beneath mine, her hot breath as she parted them, the press of her body against mine. The joy that swelled through my body, molten sunshine, suddenly had competition in the form of desire. It had always been there, but now it was commanding my attention, heat sweeping through me. I had things to say first though, amends to make.

"I'm sorry I left you." I kissed her again, gently, attempting to pour all my regret into that motion. These could be the last kisses she permitted and I needed to make them count.

"I'm sorry I lied to you." It had been for her own good, but how was I to know that it would lead to this?

"It was only to protect you." I'd failed in the end, but I couldn't mourn that failure because I was in this moment. I traced her lower lip with my tongue, savoring the pureness of her taste; no lip gloss for Bella, it was all her – human, salty and sweet.

"I never stopped loving you." Her lips had parted with a gasp and when I covered her mouth again, I let my tongue move further, wanting more of that flavor, more of her softness against me. The way we kissed was new to me and the dizzying reality of the situation sparked a new coil of desire in my abdomen. I never wanted this to end, but my body was insisting on more.

"I can do so much now that I can't hurt you anymore," I said when I pulled away, hoping she understood what I meant, hoping she wanted as much. I felt giddy, drunk on the possibilities.

"Edward," she began, and I felt a flicker of fear. She'd accepted the kisses, but I'd done so much to hurt her. There was too much to forgive. Still, I had to try. "This isn't - "

"Please, please tell me you forgive me." I couldn't let her get the words out. I rested my forehead against hers, our eyes close enough that our eyelashes could brush against each other, the deep brown of her irises the only thing I could see.

"Of course I do."

Joy burst anew, a supernova inside me, my smile stretched as far as it could and she smiled back, mirroring my elation. I would do whatever I could to ensure I saw that smile as often as possible. I stepped forward with her still in arms, taking us to the nearest wall. I surrendered to the desire.

I wanted to worship her and it was a constant battle between my heart and my body, not to move too quickly. This wasn't about me, although every taste of her skin as I kissed down her neck, following the path of her veins, was a reward. Her skin was salty, as if she'd been exerting herself before she found me, but it was like licking the sunlight straight from her body. My fingers sought the heat of her flesh, slipping under the fabric of her shirt – so rough in comparison to her skin – to caress her back, mapping each inch of new territory. I wanted to learn all of it, every plane and every valley, and the shirt was in the way. I grasped the hem, ready to pull it from her.

"Do you want this?" I would give her every chance to acquiesce or decline. She pressed herself closer to me and whimpered. I forced my eyes open, catching her nod, and pulled the shirt from her without further hesitation. My hands continued on their quest, tracing her arms and back, pulling her to me as we kissed, our entire torsos pressed together, mine alighting at her touch. It was like fire against my skin, the way she burned with her blood pounding so fiercely.

Her bra was another irritation, quickly removed, and I relished the way her hair cascaded over my forearms like silk when I reached up her back. I swept my hands over her shoulders and down, cupping her breasts, the skin here even softer than the rest of her. I'd felt them pressed up against me so often, fantasized about touching them like any other seventeen year old boy, and now she was writhing against me as I moved my fingers, stroking as gently as I could bear. I broke away from our kiss, impatience forcing a moan from me, and kissed my way down her throat again, the other side this time, still following the trail of veins and capillaries until I was level with my hand. I wanted her in my mouth. I wanted to know if the pink flesh was as sweet as everywhere else, if the flavor would be different, but with the thought came a deluge of venom. The fantasy played in my brain in seconds and it ended with me biting down, as the fantasies always did. Even if it couldn't kill her now, or cause permanent damage, my teeth were still as sharp as they'd always been and I shied away from causing her any pain. Not now. Maybe, if there was time for experimentation, later.

I moved on instead, to free her from her jeans. A new scent emerged, one sweeter than the rest of her, richer. I'd encountered it before, when our kisses had become too frantic and I'd had to pull away to regain my control. I pulled my pants off too, throwing them to join the tangle of clothes on the paving. I lifted her, wrapping her legs around me and pressing her against the wall, only one thin layer of cloth between us, and her marvelous heat against me everywhere.

She wriggled her hips and I caught them, holding her still and leaning in to suck delicately at her neck, just above her pulse. Its frenetic rhythm wasn't so much a temptation to me anymore as it was a signal for other temptations – Bella's desperate body against mine fuelling the lust that clawed inside me, impatient to be unleashed entirely.

"More," she whispered, her breath coming in heavy pants, the fragrance deepening around us. I wanted to move slowly, as slowly as my body would permit, but she was not making this easy. I kissed her, hoping to silence the wild sounds she was making, forcing my hands to move gently over her skin. I wanted her to feel a tenth of the desire I did. Every inch of my skin was desperate for stimulation, but none more so than where we were almost connected, our hips nearly perfectly aligned.

I trailed one hand down to cover her panties, the cloth wet beneath my fingertips, then underneath the fabric, over curls and to wet skin. I touched slowly, finding what I sought and ghosting circles over it while hushed moans fell from Bella's throat. The whole world had narrowed to that one fingertip, the texture of her slick and soft beneath it. I slid the finger lower, memorizing all of her, until she yielded, my finger sinking into her body.

If I'd thought her skin was hot, inside she was an inferno, and the monster snapped at the bars of his cage, wanting release. He wanted more of this, the exquisite sensation of her body tight around me, and I slid another finger inside her, reveling in the way her muscles moved, rippling and clenching with every stroke.

Only when I felt the ruined shreds of her underwear in my hand and tasted her most intimate flavor against my tongue did I realize I'd gone too far, almost relinquishing control to the monster. I was moments away from pushing into her and taking her against the wall, rough and animalistic. I couldn't allow it. That wasn't how I wanted our first time to be.

I wanted to kiss her again, but that might be my undoing. Instead I pulled her away from the wall, keeping eye contact the entire time to check that she didn't flinch away from this, that she was as ready as I was. I sank to my knees, our hips still so close together, letting her decide what the next move would be. I was pressed right against her – all it would take was one shift of her hips and I would be inside her.

I took a moment to drink in the feel of her against me like this and the way she looked: tangled hair, flushed cheeks, pupils dilated and lashes drifting low, her skin covered in a thin sheen of perspiration. She was perfect.

She moved above me and the world narrowed to her skin on mine. There was heat and there was sensation. Almost too much. I wanted to move, to thrust harshly up into her and claim her. She leaned forward, bringing a rush of her sweet scent with her, and pressed her forehead to mine. "I love you," I told her, holding onto that truth through the overwhelming sensation.

"I love you, too," she murmured and that undiluted happiness sparked again, bright and wonderful. _She still loved me_. I moved, just to relieve the unbearable ache, and the tightness increased, her body reacting to mine. I couldn't control the sounds ripping from my throat as she moved over me, each shift of her hips causing me to lose touch with reality, slipping further and further into a haze of sensation. Nothing in the world had ever felt this good. Nothing could ever feel this good. The pace was torturously slow, every movement dragging the pleasure out, building to a point where I couldn't bear it anymore. I needed more.

I rolled us over so she was beneath me, her body laid out so I could admire all of it – every perfect expanse of skin that I wanted to explore. For now, I pushed back inside her, the change in angle knocking the breath from my throat at the way it felt, our bodies completely connected from chest to hip. I wanted to become one with her; not just this fragile, temporary connection, but sink into her, so deep that we were one being, hearts and minds as close together as our skin was right now. If I had to settle for an eternity of this, then I would. She writhed below me as I gave myself over to the need to thrust, letting speed win where strength would have to be tempered. Her nails scraped over my back, delicious bites that overwhelmed me. I had to channel it somehow.

"I love you," I whispered into her neck, repeating the words in as many languages as I knew. I'd sought the words out when I first realized they were true, determined she would know them in every form possible. Now I held onto them, keeping me anchored to my gentle side.

I was lost in every second of my body within hers, the slick slide of skin on skin. Suddenly she gasped, holding her breath as she rocked beneath me, my name whispered as she writhed. Her heart beat so fast against her ribs, blood pounding so hard I could feel it everywhere we touched, a heady cloud of her scent forming around us. The whole world constricted to the place where we were connected, pleasure spilling up and out, washing across my skin and sending me spiraling into a place where only feeling existed.

Time lost its meaning and the world came back to me in languorous waves. I had enough sense left to not collapse and crush Bella beneath me, but beyond that it was all I could do to roll my upper body to the side, unwilling to break that connection with her, burying my face in the curtain of her hair. She lay still, her body relaxed against the stone paving, eyes unfocussed and her hair pooled around her. She'd never been more beautiful.

"I love you," I whispered, again and again, unable for a moment to remember the words in any other language. My thoughts were hazy, shrouded in the after effects of pleasure.

We'd made love. Finally, we'd been able to come together and I hadn't hurt her. If there was anything to convince me that we were in Heaven, it was this precise moment, with the sun beating down and her warm body still connected to mine.

"Bella," I asked, unable to keep my hands still, "why do you still smell so good?"

"Because we're not dead," she murmured.

"What?" I stilled, but my thoughts exploded into chaos. That couldn't be right. I'd died at noon – there was no way Bella could have been there. She'd died. Hadn't she?

"This isn't Heaven Edward. At least, not in the angels-and-harps sense. We're still in Volterra. I came to stop you from killing yourself."

Could it…was it possible this was true?

"But you said you forgave me! If this is real - " I'd been so cruel when I left, lies spilling from my mouth so easily. She should never have been able to forgive me after what I'd said, after the way I'd left. "I hurt you so badly – how could you - "

"I love you," she said, eyes warm and determined. "I forgive you."

"And we just – how could we have made love without me hurting you?" It had been a struggle in parts, true, but for it to have been so _easy_ compared to how I'd always imagined it was incomprehensible.

"I think because you thought you couldn't hurt me, you didn't. You've always had less faith in yourself than I do."

In the distance I could hear the sounds of the festival still going on throughout the town, something I'd ignored until now, assuming it was part of the illusion of the space we were in. Those last moments, counting the tolls of the bell, I hadn't been imagining the scent of Bella close to me – she _had _been there.

It was true. We were alive. Now that I engaged all my senses, I knew it had to be true.

"You could have told me," I said, thinking about how close I'd been to taking her in the very alley beside the main Piazza. It didn't matter…_she was alive._

She giggled, a sound I'd rarely heard from her. If I'd had a pulse it would have reacted to that lovely rush of sound. "I was distracted. I did try!"

She had tried to speak several times since she'd thrown herself into my arms, but I'd never considered for a second the option that we might both be alive. I'd been too wrapped up in holding her…and everything that came after.

"Yes, I suppose you did, and you were." The thought made me smile and her pulse reacted, her heart beating a familiar, furious tattoo. It brought with it a fresh wave of her scent.

She was alive. She was whole. And she was here with me.

"Yes, you still make my throat burn," I said, inhaling. The burn was worth it though – a mere side-effect of our proximity now, not a deterrent to being close to her. I lifted her hand, kissing over her fingers and down to her wrist, sucking on the delicate skin above her thundering pulse. "Although, it's not such a problem anymore. Now I know we can _be_ together, and I won't hurt you." I smiled again at the thought and she gasped, her body reacting. I wanted to give into that reaction and spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying our discovery, but I needed to think about her. She was still fragile, still human, and she still needed taking care of.

Rather than give in to my body, I slid out of her, hushing her protests and carrying her to the fountain I'd barely noticed before now. The water was warm from the afternoon sunlight. I sat her on the edge and used it to wash her, wiping away the evidence of my pleasure and, I hoped, any discomfort she might be feeling, trying to control the rising tide of fresh desire. I took the chance to wash myself too and she glanced away when my hands dipped low, the familiar blush creeping onto her cheeks. I tried to stifle my laugh and kissed the blush, amazed she would get embarrassed after everything we'd done.

When we were clean I dressed her, kissing as I went, starting on that promise to learn every inch of her. It seemed a shame to cover her up like this when she seemed made for this place, this hidden courtyard in the Italian sunshine, but I'd picked up on a familiar mental voice not so far away and knew our time here was about to be encroached upon.

She glanced at me from beneath her eyelashes, her eyes taking on the unfocussed look she'd worn when she first accused me of 'dazzling' her, and this time it was accompanied by a rush of that new scent, marking her desire for me.

"We have no time now," I told her, my fingers drawn to the skin that was still exposed to me. "Alice is coming and I don't think you're ready to become an exhibitionist. But I promise you, soon." If we'd had more than a few minutes I'd have chanced it, my body aching to be connected to hers again, but Alice's arrival would be too soon. I stepped away to find my pants and shoes, the only clothes I had, and brought her immediately back into my arms when the task was done. She molded herself to me and I knew my skin was almost as warm as a human's at this point, absorbing and holding the heat from the sun. Joy thrummed in me, vibrating along my skin at the simple act of just holding her. For months I'd thought I'd never be able to do this again and now I might be able to do this for years. This was right and I was ashamed that I'd ever run from it, no matter what my reasons.

I knew what I had to do.

"Bella, there's one thing I need to ask you before Alice gets here. I haven't had chance to prepare, but - " I dropped to my knee, wishing for a ring but settling for holding my hand out for hers instead.

"Will you marry me?"

Her mouth dropped open, her expression inscrutable, and for the millionth time since we'd met I wished to be able to hear what was going on in her head. The thoughts were flickering over her face, but I had no way of accessing them and no way of knowing the outcome of her decision. Surely though, she knew how right this was? Before I left Forks she'd been determined to spend eternity with me and she must have known that eternity would involve marriage. It was the lesser commitment anyway.

I wanted the chance to explain more, to press my suit and convince her why saying yes was the only answer, how it was the only thing left in the world I wanted now I had her again, but too soon I saw a jumble of futures and heard the shrill, overexcited thoughts of my sister. Before I could tell her to give us five more minutes, she was in the courtyard and hugging Bella.

"Oh, Bella, you're going to be such a beautiful bride!"

Bella glanced at me, bemused, but I was no longer annoyed by Alice's intrusion. I'd seen exactly what I wanted in her head – one brief flash of Bella in white before Alice cut me off.

If I'd thought I was happy before, it was nothing to the elation sweeping through my body now, swelling so large I didn't think I could contain it. Only once since I'd become a vampire had I changed, and that had been the moment I realized I loved Bella. Now I could feel a change just as profound settling inside me, love without the fear and self-doubt I'd carried before.

I stood up, brushing Alice aside to take Bella in my arms. "She's right, you will be a beautiful bride," I whispered, before kissing her swiftly, not wanting to try more because the temptation was too great. I couldn't start anything I couldn't finish right now.

"But I haven't decided anything yet!" she said, flustered.

"But you will, so let's just assume it's a done deed." Alice smiled, and for now I pushed Bella's resistance to the back of my mind. It was something we could talk about in private if we needed to. She was smiling back at me, every inch of the joy I felt reflected in her smile, and I pulled her close, enjoying the warmth of her again.

"I come bearing gifts," Alice said, holding out one of the red festival cloaks, a pair of tan gloves and a ridiculous fedora. "Sorry, I couldn't get replacement underwear at such short notice." Bella blushed again and I was more successful at stifling my laughter this time. I'd have to tell her later that she'd be better off foregoing underwear for some time if she didn't want it to be destroyed. I frowned at Alice, trying to reprimand her for teasing Bella, but she ignored me.

"We have twenty minutes to get out of Volterra," she babbled, "but we do have time to stop off in Florence while we're in Italy – Edward is going to find you the perfect engagement ring on the Ponte Vecchio, Bella..." We walked along, leaving the courtyard behind, and I pulled Bella into my side, relishing the warmth once again. I didn't want to leave this sanctuary, the place I'd felt happiest in my entire life, but I was picking visions from Alice's head that told me there was more to come. For now, I was content.

After all, I had the reason for my existence back.

* * *

**Happy anniversary!**


End file.
